Friday 20 May 2011

Maths...A Numerical Terror

I have met two types of homo species in my life, one who likes maths and others who have to like maths. Whenever i see a geek with thick glasses and sticky hair, i get even more terrified wondering how a Maths book can suck out lives out of innocent nerds. Till the present day i am not able to figure out if i was not able to excel in my maths exams due to fever previous night or i had fever because of the maths exam next day.
                                                       Till 5th Standard it was fun to add, subtract or to divide but when 'Root' entered the roots of maths then the game got spoiled and it got scary till 8th. Afterward 'root' called in all its relatives cubes, theorems, Sin q, cos q, probability, equations and maths book haunted me liked a Ramgopal verma shitter.
                                                                I still wonder why the 'X' is unknown till date even after timeless efforts from Aarybhat, Ramanuj and Hopkins, Pity we always have to assume it or why Ram and Mohan always walk in different directions with diffrent speeds or why shayam keeps selling his goods on 10% loss. Seriously since 8th standard i used to wonder how a 'square root' would help me in earning my livings or a theorem problem was more serious than my 'pimple problem'.
                                                                     Nevertheless i pushed it along till 10th standard by taking tut-ions from a bald man for whom life was a sudoku and seriousness was as precious as virginity for a nun. I was relieved now and opted for commerce in secondary school. Quite obviously i avoided maths just like congress spit away kalmadi after commonwealth games. Due to my affection with simple computation i was able to excel in Accounts and Economics and i was beaming at the prospects of no more x+y(x-y).
                                                But as Himesh keeps coming back and spoiling up moods, dragon of maths once again rose up, in one of the semester of  my intedegraded...oops integrated MBA course and i was shivering likeBhutan( against China). In first two efforts i was quite understandably  not able to get success. But all thanxs to hellbent University rules (by whom even a Dolly Bindra can get a Ph.D) I got a third chance. I tried really hard to prepare but couldn't help myself in feeling like a Munaf Patel against a hat-trick ball by nasty Malinga. But during exam one of my super junior told me one question was out of syllabus( honestly i had no idea about the syllabus). By virtue of that divine alien question i was blessed with 14 grace marks and was able to conquer a long time enemy.
                                                           
                                                               I hope it gets over here because i have no more zeal left to face another punch from the demon. I am happy in contributing what india has already contributed to maths.....A big round ZERO.............       

Thursday 19 May 2011

Constitution or Constipation?

Yeah, you are absolutely correct whatever i would write in this post would be a contempt of  constitution and i may face severe penalties determined by the same constitution. How paranoid this rulebook is that it cant tolerate a word of criticism. The lawmakers knew that many of the acts and clauses inherited in this book are flawed and partisan that's why they provided immunity to constitution so that nobody will be able to point a finger towards their shoddy work.
                                                    First thing is that why on this earth one cant show his displeasure over the rules and regulations by which he is being ruled, even god is not above criticism then why in a democracy a book and a Mahatma Gandhi should be above the debate. There are thousands of people who don't oblige with gandhi's policies and millions who think that many acts and principals in Constitution are flawed then why these people are not given a chance to raise their voices.
                                                                               In our constitution there are certain VIPs, Communities, and institutions which are provided with special empowerment and has an unfair advantage over common man. Some of the top bureaucrats and leaders are so immune that even a large scale swindle by them is unquestionable.
                           Though i am no Jethmalani or a 'Daamini type super-advocate'  but still like masses i feel there should have been something in it which could have set an equal status for all classes. Instead of just pressing 'cntrl c + cntr v' our lawmakers should have applied a bit of their own mind while adapting this from other states. Its pretty obvious that revolutionaries like Bhagat Singh didn't lay their lives to gain such kind of imperialist rule and their dream for a socialist state is unfulfilled till the date. There is something wrong with present system and that is the reason why we are not able to push the very visible culprits behind the bars. Fugitives like Yedurappa, Laalu, Mulayam, Amar, Fernendis, Koda, chautala, Chavan and many more roam free despite being the obvious swindlers of taxpayer's money. MLAs and MPs have got increased their assets manifold without any explanation of their source of income. Its quite clear that they earned it by scams in contracts, govt jobs, projects but there is no mechanism to monitor and control their unfair practices.
                                                                                                          May be there are rules laid in constitution pertaining to every aspect of crime but who will ensure their justified execution. The Law education courses train future advocates to twist the same information in favor or against a person. So all these things are pretty ambiguous and goofy. We need many public empowerment tools just like Lokpal Bill to ensure a transparency in the system. People like Hajare should be supported unceasingly so that they may be able to bring some social changes. Whenever there is a criticism of constitution by people like Anupam Kher we should not act like patriotic idiots, atleast he has courage to speak his mind. There is nothing wrong when people demand for amendments and enactment of new bills because a system needs dynamic changes according to the advancement of times and we need these changes big time.
                                           If constitution stays blocked like this it may create a constipation and as we all know constipation gives birth to many fatal diseases............                       

Wednesday 18 May 2011

Gandhi never dies

Whenever i visited university library( a rare occurrence) i felt like all the books are a private property of Mr.Nehru and we students will come in and go out but he will stay there forever. I found Rajiv Gandhi in every stadium lurking over the heads of athletes. Indira Gandhi could be felt on roads and chowks among thick traffic and a Kamla and Motilal Nehru you can find hanging over in markets and buildings. I need not to mention father of every non-aggressive species Mahatma Gandhi whom we love more than our relatives for his presence in our pockets and its ritualistic to paste his name on any national object.
                                                                                                    Out of 1.2 billion we find only Gandhi Dynasty suitable enough to be labeled on every State plan and property. Thousands laid their lives to serve the Mother India but perished away soon because they didnt have any political pedigree to carry their names blatantly like Gandhis. Even in their times revolutionaries like Bhagat Singh, Ajaad, Bose and Udham singh were criticized heavily by Gandhi and Nehru for not falling in line with their Non-violence(own-arse-saving) policies. These guys were labeled as terrorists by our great leaders and made every effort to malign their image.But truth survived somehow yet they were not able to achieve the deserved place in history because the post-independence system was hijacked by Gandhi family and all good for nothing members of Nehru dynasty were projected as heroes.
                                                     But these days just to please 'mummy ji' every project is named after Gandhis. even a water tank or a bus queue shelter. On the surface it looks like a normal thing but its a thought out strategy of Gandhi family to stamp their names deep in Indian minds so that they can carry on their imperialist regime. Its working also because its human tendency to forget things easily if not reminded periodically.
                  Sometimes i wonder with all important projects pre-occupied by other gandhis how Sonia and Rahul will manage to paste their names on things.They are left with only few options like it can be a 'Sonia Samshan Ghat' or a 'Rahul Toilet Complex' or may be the 'arse-licking' congressmen would come out with better ideas to butter 'Amul Baby' and his 'Horlicks Mom' because a gandhi is forever.............